Welcome to Thepopestolemyshoes,
Now, if the title of this blog didn’t clue you in to the fact that you were dealing with a gent just shy of being rushed into an I hug myself jacket, then you’re beyond help and should beware.
Why post yet another blog to the sea of random commentary out there? Because I wanna. Short and simple. I like attention, yet get embarrassed when I receive it in person. So, I am hiding behind a digital personae, one using my real name and personality, but, hey, I don’t have to make sense.
32 years and some change ago, the island of Hawaii was rocked by a volcano going active on the Big Island. A moderate tsunami, created by the earthquakes the eruption set off, was also at play. All of these natural portents aside, my parents did not find a 666 tattooed on my forehead. Although, they would look time and time again as I got older.(It was actually 667, the neighbor of the beast. We’re like this ( Ii ) I’m the tall one.)
I grew up all over the place. My father was an U.S. Air Force Colonel, thus we switched duty stations every three or four years. I spent most of my formative years in Europe. My family is fiercely proud of their Irish Heritage. I’m somewhere between half and a quarter Irish. My Grandfather was from County Cork. We’re proud of this heritage, much to the amusement, I’m sure, of the Irish citizenry. I considered emigrating there, but they just recently made giving head legal, so I think I’ll wait it out a till the totally legalize nookie. The rest of my genetic make up is Cherokee, Welsh, and Scottish. So basically I booze like a maniac, while wearing a skirt, and gibber in an accent you can’t understand.(If this offends the fine people of these countries, too bad. Find another blog. There will be much worse to come I promise you.)
Politically I am all over the place. I like to call myself a sociolepubicrat. Some issues I am more on the right others, I lean towards the left. I do believe that both major parties are held hostage by extremist nut jobs. If I had to choose just one, I would be an Autocrat. However, the U.N. has ignored my correspondence declaring myself the Grand High Poobah of Mattopia and the federal government has rejected my claims on the moon, non aggression treaty, official currency, and totally ignored my brief, but victorious, war against my neighbor and her yard pooping rodent. Applications towards citizenship will be considered.
I’m an aspiring fiction novelist and a current college student. I just recently returned to University life after a 7 year period of total slacking and indirection and 5 years as an U.S. Army Combat Medical Sergeant. (The title is actually shorter, like Health Care Specialist but mine sounds way cooler.) I was stationed in the Mojave desert at Fort Irwin, which I loved. Basically the government paid me to go camping in the desert and play multi million dollar laser tag, training up units to fight in Iraq. I didn’t like the isolation of the area though, and most Californian desert people are two steps shy of the Hills are Alive. From there I went on to be stationed in Hawaii. Oddly enough attached to the very hospital I was born in. I was an ambulance driver and attendant. It wasn’t as much fun as Irwin but, it was Hawaii so couldn’t complain. Although going from an Infantry unit to a Medical unit was hard. If I ever get reactivated, I will threaten desertion unless they keep me in Combat Arms.
Currently I am studying towards an Applied Liberal Arts degree. From there I will attend a masters and doctoral program to be a Professor of Ancient History. I chose this field because I found out that when you get your degree, they give you a pipe, a tweed jacket, and a snooty accent. Who could pass all that up.
And now we come to the end of my biography. If you haven’t run screaming or passed out due to extreme boredom by now then you’re in good hands. Although, I do not claim responsibility for any future therapy bills you might have.